# 86 - Thank you!

I have been very blessed to be blessed ( is that a real phrase?) with not one, not two, not even two and a half, but THREE blogger awards this past week, and I really really want to thank all those who presented me with it.

First of all, Thanks to Lev [ I don't know his real name ;) ] from The Diary of a Liar for presenting me with the versatile blogger award. He's a great writer and for those of you who haven't yet, should really check his blog out.

 

 

Next I would like to thank Sana Castellano from  A life worth living her wit and humor always brings a smile to the face of anyone who reads her blog, it's like magic! She presented me with the 'The Nice Blog Award'

 

and last but not the least I would like to thank the adorable Maryam from The Different Girl who thought I was stylish ( Yaay!) and gave me this:

Ok, and now to award the awards to other people; I have already done so previously in another blog post for 'The Stylish Blogger' and 'Versatile Blogger' HERE and ALSO HERE. 

So now I am left with 'The nice blog award' which I present toooooooo:

1) Lioness without a pride - She is one of the nicest and sweetest people I have met online and her blog is really  worth a read.

2) AL !! - Her blog is hilarious! I love it! and it always, always makes me L(augh) O(ut) L(oud)!

There are other blogs too,but I have awarded them previously. I do not follow as many blogs as I would like to, due to lack of time, cause I feel that if you follow a blog, that blog becomes your friend, and you should comment on it regularly,not that just follow for the sake of 'following'   :)

Thank you all!  and I will continue with the 'Wedding Post' next time for sure!

# 82- Don't run toward, Don't run away. Just stand there

Since I am having another sleepness night, I have decided that I might as well use this time to write a blog post quickly before my laptop battery runs down ( It's currently at 41%).

I have realized something while I was trying to fall asleep for the past 2 hours but not managing to. Quite a few leanings I am getting this month from practicing various things. 

As per my previous posts, I learnt that SILENCE is the best policy when it comes to problems ( which have no solution) that you keep thinking about over and over again. So I stopped talking about my problems to people - well maybe except here on this blog- because it's my 'happy place'- anyway, so I stopped talking about my problems to people, I tried to be more quiet than I usually am, and it helped! I had a sense of calm and it worked for me.

Now my next step, ( what I mean to talk about right now when I say that I have come to a realization). The realization is that:

For a great part of my life  now I have always been running away or running toward something or the other.

Running toward love, running away from love, running away from confrontation, running toward trying to fix problems that don't concern me, running away from people at the right time and running toward those same people at the wrong time.

I mean enough. I have had enough of running 'away' and 'towards'. I am going to try and stop now. I am not going to run away, but I am not going to run toward either. No matter what the issue is. I am just going to stand there and watch me burn.... ok no kidding, haha, I just like that song.

Ok back to the serious topic. New learning for me:

STOP running away  STOP running towards.Just stand where I am and have faith in God.

Hope this helps, I am going to start implementing it from this morning, which should start in about.... 7 hours.

31 battery remaining.

I wonder if there is enough time for me to read a new random Listverse articles before I try to force myself to sleep, or do the self destructive thing and put the laptop on charge so I can keep loitering about here till 5 am.

# 80 - Teenage Dream and why I am stuck here today?

Why o why is thing song stuck in my head?  It's so old and still humming it without realizing!

You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on

Isn't  it so cute when someone tells you that?

Anyway, the weather is beautiful today, perfect for a drive at the beach or a walk down the street, and what am I doing? Stuck at HOME looking out the window, and wishing that I could go somewhere and do something fun outdoors.

I do have to go, for a haircut, but that also means shelling out a nice sum of money and just sitting indoors, I want to go, like go-karting or something. Fat Chance of that happening.

You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream

You know, there are some people in your life -and not necessarily a love interest, they can be friends or relatives, or co-workers who, no matter how old you get,always make you feel young, you can be a kid with them, go crazy, act wild and feel like a teenager even if you're 70.

I was just thinking that I am so blessed to have a few such people in my life.

#77-

Do you ever feel un-thankfully dissatisfied with your life?.

When inspite of having so many wonderful things ( a roof over your head, food to eat, friends who care about you, a job that pays well) you feel anger, frustration, and sadness over the most trivial of things? When nothing makes you happy, and what you want, or what you think will make you happy is not really that important at all.

Does that make me a bad person?

# 76 - Protest Day 6 , the long awaited weekend, and my learnings from this week of protesting

Ok. Today was the sixth day of my protest, and this is what I have learnt so far, if you start to ignore everyone:

1) Annoying People at work will get intimidated by you and give you more respect

2) Your friends will keep asking whats wrong and be so worried for you, you will need to pretend everything is ok

3) People who sometimes bug you ( just for the fun of it) will think you are mad at them and be unusually nice to you ( I got 2 chocolate cookies today and a subway sandwich for free!- ok that just sounds cheap)

4) The or two people whom you really care about, will be genuinely worried for you, even though you might  have confided in them have given them a hint that your protest week is going on

5) Your boss will be extra nice to you, even if they are nice already

6) People will think you are angry at them, and approach you with caution.

7) You feel a weird sense of calm

But I have also learnt that one cannot keep a protest on forever, it has to tone down and eventually end. Being a hermit never solves anything. But in due time and small doses.

Thank you for supporting me throughout my protest. There are still 4 more days to go 

( re-starting Monday) 

I hope  that during this weekend I will post somethings that are less... self absorbed, you know like on global warming or something That's my next step, to blog about more socially relevant topics.

# 72 - Protest Day 2

Ah the 2nd day of my protest and the weekend is already here. I suppose that happened since I started it in the middle of the week.

As of course, it had to happen that today was the day that so many people just wanted to talk to me,and be extra nice to be for God-knows-what reason. It did, admittedly make me feel a little smug about the whole thing. There I was busy working way, head phones blaring on loud, listening to angst-y teenage music ( Eminem) which was fueling my bad mood further, but did manage to speed up my work for some reason as well.

I was doing fine but then 

(voice behind me) [insert my name] !!! what are you doiiiing?

Me: Nothing, I'm working

voice: Why do you look so saaaad?

Me; I don't. I'm busy

voice: hey you have some movies I  could borrow?

Me: Not now!

Voice: i want to eat a big sandwhich from Dunkin Donuts!  ( this was a hint for me to accompany him)

At this point I gave the person such a dangerous look that he just thought the better of it and stopped the conversation. I felt a little bad though,he's one of my best friends at work, and also as mentioned before, one of the people I am least disliking right now, but what to do?

Sometime later ( from various  co-workers):

Hey! We are ordering Mcdonalds! want some?

Hey, here! have a cookie ( A packet of oreos comes flying from above and lands *SPLAT* on my laptop, breaking half  of them)

 Hey why arent you eating any food?

 Here! I got you a coffee sachet! 


Hey, you want some jellybeans?........
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Hey, whats wrong why do you look like a zombie today?  ( yeah that happened too)


At which point  just decided to pack up and go home. Well, at least I got cookies,jellybeans and a free cup of gourmet coffee.

I plan to keep my protest on though, not against anyone, now it's more just for me.

# 71- When, if not now?

Nowadays all I want is to be free and feel like doing anything I want with no one to tell me what to do. 

I feel like staying out late, chilling with friends all the time, getting up late for work, wearing jeans everyday instead of only on 'casual friday' and not have to answer to anyone.

I want to go on an exotic vacation with 2 or 3 of my closet friends and not have to bother about the expenses it will incur. 

This would be nice

I feel like I'm acting out my teenager-ness at the age of twenty-si.....never mind. But seriously, when, if not now? I was more or less a goody-two shoes as a teenager, never did half the stuff teenagers get up to these days. But now I feel that since I have a job ( Thank God) and I manage my own expenses, and have finished my MBA ( with a very good GPA) and gotten out a relationship that had defined every goal I had for the past 7 years; I feel like just doing what I want all the bloody time.

 

It's not that I have no freedom at all, but if I go out more than twice week, I get grilled at home for it. ( For my foreign friends- where I come from,living at home with your parents in your twenties is as normal as moving out when you start college)

But I guess this feeling will pass, there is probably another underlying reason for it.What that is you might know.... if you would have read every blog post of mine since the beginning of time!