*Selected* Previous Works

calories in half a cup of tea...# 1

by Urooj Hussain on Wednesday, 16 December 2009 at 23:02
Yeah i hope i got your attention, who ever all of you found the time to read this,
this is now going to be... myofficialfacebookblog!!...ta-daaa!

There, I said it, and now I am going to write every day and pray that I never become all cliched like most blogs do, so therefore I have decided that I am not going to advertise this, just write and hope that some of you stumble upon it and read it.. and perhaps.. like it enough to comment.

Today I'll talk about the title of my blog, you see, sitting in the office and not really getting any exercise makes one fat,thus brings about the need to keep track of carbs/calories/mg of sugar whatever you follow.. anyway today the saddest thing happened, I actually found myself counting the calories in the half cup of tea ( no sugar) that I was having......I was like, damn Urooj, you have lost it... :P

*sigh* I miss those days when one didn't have to care what they ate, sometimes growing up can be really
. um in case you are wondering, a cup of sugarless tea (without milk) has about 2 calories.


Calories in half a cup of tea # 2 - The NRO Issue

by Urooj Hussain on Thursday, 17 December 2009 at 23:16
haha just kidding, no this is most definitely NOT what todays topic is going to be about,

though that would be the 'politically' correct thing to do... haahh get it? get it?

I just cannot resist a good pun- ever.

I feel that puns are the one of the most subtle yet witty forms of humor, and not every easy to come up with, I spent like 15 mins trying to come up with this opening sentence.

you know what else is not easy?

trying to aviod all the food that the whole world throws you the MOMENT you start some progress in getting some weight lost

I sometimes hate how food can be such a touchy topic, full of sentiments and emotional black mail, especially with your family... like what happened today,

I was at a family friends house and was offered * gasp* a bowl of home made halwa..and I'm like "oh no, no thanks!.. Im er trying to avoid sweets..."- and there it goes

auntie: "oh come on..its ok if you have this itsey bitsey piece of halwa"
me: no er.. really thank you, I wont
auntie: don't be ridiculous, you wont look nice if you lose weight
me: no, but i have to.....no thanks
auntie: but I made it ESPECIALLY for you
me: (feeling guilty now)* takes a little bite* yum! thanks
auntie: have some more!
me: no no really ( oh damn....)
auntie: why? don't you LIKE it?
me: no no i do, its just that....
auntie: you don't like it, do you?
me: no no.. (er... im really stuck now).. forcefully eats half a bowl :(

*sigh* if this not emotional black mail then what is it? 

Calories in half a cup of tea # 4 - the little things

by Urooj Hussain on Sunday, 20 December 2009 at 17:33
hey all,

was just looking at the news feed on face book, seeing what all my friends and acquaintances are up to, and I noticed something.... ( now I am all for tolerance and freedom of expression, but....).....

I HATE it when people use slang when typing. HATE HATE HATE RIP, TEAR KILL.....

"oh DAT is so KEWL"...
"I rely like DIS"
I am GR8

grrrrrr uff the pisses the s*** outta me, I am sorry for my language, but really does.

OK first of all, you don't write like that when you are actually WRITING an essay in class do you?
and KEWL has the same number of letters as COOL, so why why why do you write that? ( you can't even say that it saves time)...

Sometimes people over do it so much I cannot even understand what they are saying
Once I saw someone write "oh don't be a LUXER", and I am like " what the *beep* is a luxer?

some who uses Lux? did this person misspell lexus? ...NO It was actually LOSER

and another thing people do is write "don't be a LOOSER".... looser? looser than what?

I am ok with abbreviations though.... LOL,ROLF, AND OMG are all perfectly acceptable, as they make sense abbreviations are used all over the world such as U.N, N.A.T.O and NYC

Look I'm not saying that I am little miss perfect, I would not be able to survive without spell check, I think, (long live fire fox).. but there is a difference between misspelling something and writing in a completely unnatural way

so until next TYME
see YEW all soon
hope you liked DIS
and thought it WUZ KEWL..


*Goes and washes hands*

calories in half a cup of tea # 8 - what are the odds?

by Urooj Hussain on Tuesday, 12 January 2010 at 19:27
lol today I said to my dad 'I want to have mash ki dal for dinner" and my dad is like "OMG, Thats what your mum made today!"....and i was like whaaa... cause my has mom NEVER made mash ki dal in her life..as in i can never EVER remember her making it once during these 25 oops i mean er *cough* 24 years of my existence..... i mean what are the odds?.. I coulda asked for a million dollars.. of course these things never happen, so i guess ...ill just go around around randomly saying "i want a million dollars" from now on :P

sometimes i feel murphys law rules the universe more than Einsteins theory of relativity.

calories in half a cup of tea # 9 - As long as you love me

by Urooj Hussain on Friday, 15 January 2010 at 23:26


yes I am going to say LOL. This ancient backstreet boys song got stuck in my head from God only knows where,and brought back tons of old memories of 7th grade and whatnot.

does anyone remember how popular this band was? ahha even BOYS would have their cassettes (yes, cassettes not CD's in their cars and it was considered cool to play "Back streets Back" on full volume while driving around boat basin or sea view. hahaha

So strange how our priorities change as we age, at that time it seemed SO important, and now it seems so...meaningless, stupid even. Cause now we have money,career and yes up and coming soon wrinkles to worry about.

Sometimes I really wish though, I could go back to the school days, perhaps for a week or so.
Just go back 6-7 years in time and hang out with old friends. *awww* I think back then none of us really ever realized how valuable those moments were, we were in such a rush to grow up.

anyway getting away from this serious note, once (a long time ago, of course) I was listening to this song at home and my dad is like, "who is the singer you are listening to?"

and i am like "oh its the back street boys!!" :D
and he's like " what the hell? bastard boys? what kind of horrible names do bands have these days! hmph!!'
and im like "no no dad Back-STREET boys"
and he's like "ohhh Battery boys, I see , now that makes more sense!"


that was funny.

calories in half a cup of tea # 11 - I simply have no words.....

by Urooj Hussain on Thursday, 04 February 2010 at 23:21

Hey All,

back on this after a really long time,have been really busy and tired,but I think the prospect of this three-day weekend has helped refresh me a bit...

anyway,as many of you know, working in any type of media/marketing/advertising agency makes you deal with all sorts of individuals,and of course, all types of clients as well...from those tish tosh multinational waley high profile ones to...medium sized ones,aspiring to be multinationals to humble small time ones,to..........the really really one of a kind ones which I am about to narrate to you.

Ok, So during the course of my work, I came across a certain brand to work with- )Who's name I am not at liberty to disclose) *ooo feels all important*.... ahha ok and we had to chalk out a certain plan for them for a brand re-launch... so me and my manager to a trip to their office which was situated at a certain commercial area, where many other offices are found.....( but of course I am not at liberty to disclose)

The office seemed normal enough we entered,were made to wait a bit and then.. we met.. the brand manager, a nice individual, although the poor thing seemed a bit confused.. anyway, she went on and on about how they have to re launch this product, and come back with a bang and all that,please tell us ways to execute this on media etc etc...anyway the conversation went like this:

Brand Manager(BM): oh we are really excited to relaunch this!
My boss: ok thats good, what are you looking to do
BM: oh we want to be everywhere on the media and have many creative ideas and all that
Boss: whats your target audience?
boss: er...ok.... so why dont you tell me a little about your brands personality?
BM: huh?
Boss: your brand... what is its brand personality
BM: jee?
Boss: This brand of yours, what-is-its-brand-personality
BM: er.. i dont understand what you mean!
Boss:umm... ok.. never mind.tell me, what kind of people do you want to target with this brand?
Boss: ok..nevermind..can we take a look at your TVC
BM: you want to see TV?
Boss: No, the T.V.C of your brand
BM: no its on not TV
Boss: the AD the AD do you have an AD recoded??
BM: oooohh haan.. here you go..(shows us the ad on the computer)
Boss:ok..but isnt this the same one you had in 1994? ( it was a rather old brand)
BM: yes, but people will remember it na!
Boss: But this model in the ad, she is 55 years old now!
BM: oh.. i dint think of that!
Boss: what are you going to do?
BM: oh never mind we cant make a new one now
Boss: Why for..dont you have a creative agency?
BM: hain? whats that?
Boss: do-you- have-a-company-who makes-ads-for you-
BM: oh, no, we had a fight with them.
Boss: Oookay.
BM: could you make one for us?
Boss:Sorry, we are only a media buying agency
BM: so doesn't that make ads?....................

Boys and Girls... the above story is true...


no offense to other clients, they are great people,who know their work inside out, and It is wonderful to work with them...Jee Haan!

but I suppose its ok to write about those responsible for the above note, I dont think they know how to use Facebook... toba toba I am so mean. :P

calories in half a cup of tea # 17 Internal Debate*

by Urooj Hussain on Friday, 20 August 2010 at 01:46
This happens with my computer all the time, its like technology is evil and out to get you.

Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh God, here we go.
Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.
Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...
Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You're not out of in...
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen...
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!
Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself. 

* ok i admit i took a little,( well maybe more than a little) inspiration from elsewhere

Calories in half a cup of tea # 18 ---Helping the Flood Victims: Charity - or Fashion Statement?

by Urooj Hussain on Wednesday, 25 August 2010 at 22:17
Our country is really going through a terrible, terrible time. It's probably one of the toughest periodsof hardship that we have had to go through. It's a time when all of us ought to unite and help those in need to the best of our abilities,and we have come through, a lot of us have; we have donated money, food, clothes,there are neumerous very decicated youth and student groups who are personally making the effort to collect donationsand actually visiting the effected areas to help people out.Their effort is certainly admirable and they do set anexample for the rest of us.

(I am not claiming to be some major humanitarian, but I like to hope that I do my part- and not really advertise it)

Anyway,All of us feel for our fellow brothers,but some of us have rather strange ways of showing it. As the title of this note implies,sometimes it seems to me, ( and this is just my opinion) that the flood has gotten so much publicity that everyone now wants to jump on the bandwagon. It seems to have become "fashionable" to show concern about the flood-the new "in thing". I mean showing concern is good, but for Godssakes do not make a mockery of it!

To quote an example, I have been invited ( via facebook and text) to at least three seperate fashion shows and Eid clothes exhibitions where budding desginers which rich mommys and daddys are  exhibiting the latest fashions for the upcoming eid season....The latest fashion gear at exorbitant prices and the main feature promoting it is: "part" of these proceeds will go to flood victims. It's almost as if that was added as an afterthought, hoping to boost traffic to show.- Same goes to lavish iftar deals and parties- quoting the same thing- pay as much money for a single mea lwhich could feed a poor family for a week- and part of the proceeds go to the flood victims- oh so noble! :P

Speaking of which, I was passing by Zamzama today with a friend when we were suddenly surrounded by a bunch of teens, all  waving to slow our car down and then shoving a big shoe box in front of our faces saying " we are like, totally collecting donations for flood victims!!"... me and my friend were staring at them  in mild shock ;at the girls in their skinny jeans and tiny tops and the boys with their gelled hair and tag watches standing in the middle of the road,having fun, hanging out and occasionally collecting cash and probably feeling very good about the fact that theyare giving their contribution  to society.

My friend had a classic line to say to them " You are standing in the middle of Zamzama with your american accents and desginer clothes and then expect me to give YOU money for the flood vicims?"....

really?... is it me, or is something wrong with this picture?