Sunday, May 1, 2011

# 92 - I wish I was more like you,and you, and er... you too.

I have realized that I really do not give myself enough credit. I am too good and I deserve better than what I have been given. I do not blame God for it, I only blame myself.
I accepted what came my way, even though I had the power to say 'screw it' make something better for myself.


This picture seemed relevant....somehow
 

If you notice a lot of my blog posts are about this. I sometimes feel like I have self-esteem issues,major ones. I have been struggling to get past them, it's not like I have not made
progress,but it is so hard, so difficult sometimes.How much longer will I take before I can say 'I just don't give a damn" and really,really mean it?

I want to not care or be bothered by a lot of things. Have you ever noticed that it's usually the most cold-hearted people, the ones who don't seem to give a crap are the ones who seem to be the most loved and admired? What a sick irony of life. I don't want to become one of them, but sometimes I feel that in order to survive, I will have to.

It's disgusting,really.

8 comments:

  1. Sigh ..
    I could relate so much to this post. Happens with me too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Btw, the url to my blog has changed.

    http://myincompletechronicles.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aw *hugs* don't let life get on top of you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh yeah i realllllly wish u cud say" i give a damn" to sum1 in trouble who left me in NEED but ic an't..n after yrsss n yrss of exploring myself i hav come to put out my chest, stick out my heart n say wid a veryyyy DEMEANING TONE TO OTHERS that " ok m a GOOD GIRL...wat can u do abt it? i wont do to u wat u did to me/ i WILL BE NICE COZ I DON'T CARE U R STRONNNG N GOOD ENUFF TO BE A SUBJECT OF MY REVENGE",,,
    n i m not kidding i say it to every1 " u r too WEAK to be taken revenge upon" !!ha ha ha \!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah. You're right. It is disgusting. I don't think I could ever bring myself to become one of those people. You know?

    ReplyDelete
  6. The truth of the matter is (I think) that the cold hearted people seem to be admired, because they can hold their wits about them when things go wrong. When you get too attached to someone or something, and something goes wrong, you're left feeling like a right *insert appropriate word here* and thus your vision, judgement and thinking becomes clouded.
    Those cold-hearted people are able to keep control of themselves in such situations.
    But who said being admired and being loving and caring and garram hearted all had to be mutually exclusive?

    Also, if you don't respect yourself, others wont either. If you don't give yourself what you deserve, no-one else will give it to you.

    You can sit and ask yourself why for however long you like, but until you ask yourself what have I done to make things better, they never will get better.

    I sincerely do hope and pray that things get better for you.

    Take care, stay smiling, and have a lovely weekend. :)

    (apologies for the really long first comment)

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ Nostalgic: Thank you, and yes, I have taken note of the blog-name change and followed it :)

    @ Experiment House: Hug Back! <3

    @ AL: haha, it certainly is!!!

    @Catgirl: haha, you go girl!! Girl Power! Meow! and good to hear from you! :)

    @Eeshie: I know, neither can I. Wherein I feel at times, lies the problem.

    @Nas: Thank you for your lovely and 'garam-hearted' first comment! I loved it, and I do agree with you. You're totally right about giving your self respect first. I have put it into practice a few times and it does pay off.
    Thank you again :)

    ReplyDelete