# 96 - God Bless the broken road

The above line was taken from a song sent to me by a colleague of mine. I have simply fallen in love with it. 

Many times in life, bad things happen to us, and when they do, it seems like our whole world is falling apart. Everything we dreamed of shattered to pieces, sometimes the wounds don't heal, but sometimes,( and more often than not) these shattered dreams pave the way for something bigger and better that we had not even imagined.Some times we just need to have a little faith;

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

Faith in ourselves,but more importantly faith in God. Do your part as much as you can, but if things fail, don't give up,if your plans falter, don't lose faith- it just means that God has a better plan for you that you are not aware of. Islam tells us 'The Best of Planners is God' - 

Of course with us being human, it is easier said that done- we just love to complain :)

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Sometimes I feel that we do need to experience the 'bad' in our lives so that we can truly appreciate the good when it finally comes along.

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way,into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

# 95 - What am I forgettting?

Noways I feel that there is something constantly nagging me at the back of my mind, telling me that I am forgetting something.Especially with stuff regarding office work.I have gone over my to-do lists over and over again, but I just can't seem to figure out what exactly I am not doing. I hate this feeling, it makes me feel all queasy in my tummy.

I have a few more 'thorough' blog posts in the mental pipeline which I shall share soon-until then.

# 94 - 'It' doesnt matter because you don't matter.

You don't. Not in the long run at least. As per one random facebook status update I read : 'How much do you invest in something that is doomed to failure?'

Yes, it is doomed to failure indeed. You are a stranger, actually. I barely know you, I didn't even know that you existed until just a little while ago, and if it is doomed to failure, then I don't want to know you in any context.

I think that's for the best.

# 93 - Responsible Blogging (Not)

Nowadays with everything that is currently happening in my dear country, I feel like it is my moral responsibility to blog about it and put in my two cents worth.

But I am not going to.

Don't we hear enough of it on the news?  :p

I'd rather just blog about myself/share an amusing anecdote or just ponder out loud about how life sucks/is so wonderful/whatever else I might be feeling at the moment. 

Isn't that what blogs are for? ; That you can share anything, say anything and have friends, (aka fellow bloggers) read and understand. 

One never has to be 'be careful' of what they say, have a fear of appearing too aggressive, too needy, too confused. It does not matter how old you are, what faith you follow, or how much money you have,the blog-world understands and accepts all.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the real world could be like this too?

# 92 - I wish I was more like you,and you, and er... you too.

I have realized that I really do not give myself enough credit. I am too good and I deserve better than what I have been given. I do not blame God for it, I only blame myself.
I accepted what came my way, even though I had the power to say 'screw it' make something better for myself.

This picture seemed relevant....somehow

 

If you notice a lot of my blog posts are about this. I sometimes feel like I have self-esteem issues,major ones. I have been struggling to get past them, it's not like I have not made
progress,but it is so hard, so difficult sometimes.How much longer will I take before I can say 'I just don't give a damn" and really,really mean it?

I want to not care or be bothered by a lot of things. Have you ever noticed that it's usually the most cold-hearted people, the ones who don't seem to give a crap are the ones who seem to be the most loved and admired? What a sick irony of life. I don't want to become one of them, but sometimes I feel that in order to survive, I will have to.

It's disgusting,really.

# 91- 'Shadi Mubarak' to Kate and William and how facebook went crazy on it.

Quick translation for those who don't speak Urdu;

Shadi Mubarak = Congrats on your wedding

So today was the royal wedding, no one at work was working until 3:30 pm,which was after the vows had been taken,and as expected, everyone on facebook had their own opinion of what was going on. Some of my friends were lucky enough to be in London while the whole thing was going down, and er...boasted accordingly on their status updates.....like this:

Oh my God...FLYING Balloons!!....whats next?...cellphone that makes CALLS?!! *GASP!*

Apparently the fact that the balloons were...er..flying was the big punch line here. Truly,truly amazing. I would never have expected that.


Then there are some people who were so inspired, they thought that they were royalty and wanted the other sister,not realizing that, er.... William was the prince, not the other way around.

And some who were inspired in other ways as well.

Some were actually funny.

haha- I mean it.

LOL

This one was by FAR my favorite:

and it's original

And some who were just being plain smart-asses copying from joke websites:

Thank you Sickiepedia.com

 Some boasted their knowledge of designers.

and some...... well. you decide for yourself :)

I am so going to hell for this.

Please forgive me God.

# 90 - Prose anyone?

I've been reading a few blogs lately which write some awesome prose. A lot of it is very emotional, sad, touching and other emo words which I can use to describe them but cannot think of right now because I am half asleep as I write this.

I've been thinking of giving it a go myself,I have written some of it down, and it's pretty emo. I am reluctant to post it because I am afraid of sounding like I am a lovesick puppy/depressed/suicidal/attention seeking/needy - which I would really like to think that I am not. -_-

I really want to post them,but I feel that I will just feel stupid about them once they are 'out there' and then want to delete them, which will make me feel even more stupid.

I really do not know what to do.

# 89- There is a ghost in my bathroom!

oh yes there is.

I've been meaning to post about this for some time now as well - but somehow have not managed to yet. (As is the case with a lot of my posts-but this one has been a major exception) Maybe it is this that is preventing me from exposing its evil secrets:

I am pretty sure it's not this cute

So the reason for my suspicion is that there have been some rather strange phenomenon in my bathroom for the past few months or so:

1) The Water:  The hot/cold water balance seems to have a mind of its own. Living in Karachi,Pakistan, you would have to know that you are extremely fortunate if you do not have any major water problems in the area that you live, which thankfully,I don't. The water works fine in every part of the house except for MY bathroom. Everytime I have to wash my hands/take a shower the cold water suddenly stops working and all im left with is boiling hot water to burn my hands,hair and other cannot-be-named body parts with. Whenever this happens I have to just stop whatever I am doing and just wait with soap in my eyes,hair etc until all of a sudden the cold water starts working again.


2) The Spiders: Normally, house spiders are normal, non-threatening creatures that like to mind their own business and don't really bother you if you leave them alone. BUT WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE IN MY BATHROOM?!!!

I iz in ur bathroomz watching you poopz

There is nothing interesting in my bathroom for them, except for the occasional mosquito or two.So why would they be there? I have no idea.

3) The Dust- Ok this is just me being lazy and blaming it on the ghost. But you never know.


 

# 88- The family wedding and my family and other animals- Part III

Its been some time since I posted and before I give you the details as to where I have been, I need to finish the due post on the wedding. So first things first, let me continue the story (which has probably lost its charm by now) and just get it out of the way.

A few random funny things happened, mostly inside family jokes which you guys will probably find really lame... and then we all went home

The end!

Whew now that that is out of the way, let me begin afresh.

# 87 - Rant

I know, I know I was supposed to write part 3 of 'The wedding post' but I haven't really 'ranted' on my blog for the longest time, been just keeping things to myself and it's time I just let it out.

Ever since my protests, things have been better, but, now I have realized yet one more thing: I care too much about what people think. I need to be more assertive. I really, really need to not care. This does not mean that I turn all 'bitchy', but I really need to keep in mind is what I think is more important than, well not everyone, but what I think is more important than what a lot of people think.

I need to be more assertive, and not fret when things turn tense.

So there you go now, no more Miss Nice Girl.

# 86 - Thank you!

I have been very blessed to be blessed ( is that a real phrase?) with not one, not two, not even two and a half, but THREE blogger awards this past week, and I really really want to thank all those who presented me with it.

First of all, Thanks to Lev [ I don't know his real name ;) ] from The Diary of a Liar for presenting me with the versatile blogger award. He's a great writer and for those of you who haven't yet, should really check his blog out.

 

 

Next I would like to thank Sana Castellano from  A life worth living her wit and humor always brings a smile to the face of anyone who reads her blog, it's like magic! She presented me with the 'The Nice Blog Award'

 

and last but not the least I would like to thank the adorable Maryam from The Different Girl who thought I was stylish ( Yaay!) and gave me this:

Ok, and now to award the awards to other people; I have already done so previously in another blog post for 'The Stylish Blogger' and 'Versatile Blogger' HERE and ALSO HERE. 

So now I am left with 'The nice blog award' which I present toooooooo:

1) Lioness without a pride - She is one of the nicest and sweetest people I have met online and her blog is really  worth a read.

2) AL !! - Her blog is hilarious! I love it! and it always, always makes me L(augh) O(ut) L(oud)!

There are other blogs too,but I have awarded them previously. I do not follow as many blogs as I would like to, due to lack of time, cause I feel that if you follow a blog, that blog becomes your friend, and you should comment on it regularly,not that just follow for the sake of 'following'   :)

Thank you all!  and I will continue with the 'Wedding Post' next time for sure!

# 85 The family wedding and my family and other animals- Part II

OK, I am finally continuing this post , when I left off we were off to the event in an entourage of cars, me with my parents and the cougars maid, while she was off gallivanting with an unwilling guy, one-third her age.

So we were going in the car, all cars moving in file, being careful not lose sight of the cars in front. ( For some reason, even though the venue was at a really well-known place, no one seemed to know where it ACTUALLY was).And of course, as expected, we kept losing sight of cars on the way and kept having to stop at random sides of roads waiting for the others to catch up. It always, always, ended up being on some lonely wayside where I would have to keep looking around in fear of  the next 'mobile snatcher' who would turn up and take my precious ( and recently purchased) blackberry away from me.  :O. So I put it on silent and hid it under the seat in front, (which was a little stupid cause  it kept vibrating with  notifications as I was incessantly texting Furree Katt, and my other cousins with updates as to what was going on. ( I was very bored).


Ok, so we finally reached the venue ( which was actually some navy museum) and it turns out that out of the 7,893 cars that had come along together, only THREE were going to be allowed inside. So we all had to park faaaaar away from the actual gate and then walk all the way inside. Even from inside the gate, we had to cross a small park, an effin DRAW BRIDGE ( yes, it was an actual draw bridge, wobbly and all, with ravines below!! - well, maybe not ravines, more like 3 feet of water, but still, it was pretty dramatic) and then another mud laden path before we got the actual marquee.

Everyone was complaining about the long walk, and was also wondering that how would the bride with her over-the-top heavy clothes and make up that Pakistani brides tend to have.Anyway, we started the walk FINALLY after standing in a group for 10 minutes, discussing how long and annoying the walk was going to be. My mum ( who hates exercise) was I think most annoyed by the prospect of having to walk the quarter-kilometer or so went like this:

Me: Okay, come on mum, lets go
Mum: (after taking three steps) Uff! What a long walk!


At long last, after ruining my precious three-inch golden heels in the mud, we entered the marquee, and everyone ran to get to the table which was nearest to the food arrangement/pedestal fans/opening in the tent so that we could get some fresh air.


Finally all seated, I went back to my observing of the events and people around me, once more making notes for my blog for all you precious readers to read.

[ Ok, I am getting a little tired now and am tempted to break this point into yet another part and make in into a complete wedding 'trilogy' but I don't know if is going to be such a good idea or not,it's actually lunch time at work and the India-Australia match is going on, whoever wins will play us in the semi-finals and no one is sure who we rather be up against. Long story short, everyone is watching the match in the employee lounge, no one is working, and I am getting distracted from this blog post for the moment]

# 84- The family wedding and my family and other animals- Part I

Confusing title, I know, but anyway I thought I'd share some random funny things that happened a relatives wedding I attended a few days ago. As we all know every wedding has their own funny stories, every family has their 'from Mars' relative, but somehow I feel that we Pakistanis really take the (wedding) cake.

The wedding was of my first cousins son, who is actually my nephew, but is actually older than me cause his grandma, who is my dads sister is at least fifteen years older than him, hence my cousin is older and me and so is her son. Confused? So am I, and that is what my extended family is like.

Anyway, so since we were from the 'boys' side of the family and hence the 'baaraat' or 'wedding party' as you could call we we all had to first assemble at the boys house and then leave together in an entourage of cars to the wedding venue where the girls family would be, waiting for our 'istakbaal'  ( welcome).

So my aunt, ( the boys grandmother) tells my dad, ' we have to assemble really early, be at my house at a quarter to eight!! SHARP!"... My dad is like 'oh sure sure OK'. This I found out when I came home from work at 6:30 pm. My Dad was like

Dad: Somkey!!! ( thats's not my real name,duh, but anyway) Smokey. hurry up and get ready we have to leave in an hour!

Me: What? What? Where why? I thought we were going to the wedding?!

Dad: We ARE going to the wedding now hurry up!

Me: Dad?.....It's 6:30, what kind of wedding in Pakistan starts at 7:30?

Dad: It's not starting at 7:30, we need to be at your aunts place by 7:45 and then leave at 8 for the wedding venue

Me: Dad, please, for heavens sake, what wedding on earth starts at 8? Please, let's not leave before 10

Dad: Beta, are you crazy? No no no. 7:45 MAX we leave now hurry hurry hurry hurry.

At this point my dad just kept on saying 'Hurry Hurry Hurry Hurry', until I was like 'okay

Okay okaaaay’

Anyway, so I got ready, and tried to delay our leaving as much as possible and still did not manage to postpone the eventual till 7:55 when we stormed out the door with my dad grumbling about how late we have already gotten and how he was sure that everyone must be impatiently waiting for us. *eyeroll*

So we get there at like, 8:15 and the whole place is silent, quiet. Not a sound in sight ( haha not exactly sound in sight, but you get the picture.

Mom: What? Have they left without us?

Me: No,way. Haha I bet they are still in their pajamas

Dad: No, beta please, it’s already so late…let’s go see.

Aaaand when the front door opened we were greeted by the grooms bro…in his pajamas

Dad: Son, you’re not ready yet?

Grooms Bro: No, Uncle, I’m just getting ready, It’s only 8

Dad: Your grandma told me to be here at 7:30!

Grooms Brother: Hehhe, Uncle, come on, you know everyone here operates 2 hours late when weddings are concerned.

Here let me pause in my story to tell me you the mechanics of  a Pakistani wedding,

Everything goes by PWST (Paki Wedding Standard Time) which means GMT+5+ 2( added for the wedding schedule) If someone expects you to come at 10, they will say be there at 8, if you want your guests to arrive at 9, you need to say 7. Don’t make the mistake of saying 9, or else, you’ll have people start coming in at 11, which ruin the plans for you.

Ok, anyway, so now we are there, sitting around, getting bored as hell, looking at everyone running around in a flurry to get ready.  It gave  me a lot of time for observation though. I made lots on notes on my phone which helped me get a lot of material for this post.

One of the first things I noticed was thing ‘cougar aunite’ who was sitting in a corner with a sly smile of her face. She, I later found out, was the grooms mothers BFF from another city who was visiting. She promptly went up and started chatting up…. *Gasp* My dad. Hahaha It was so funny, she just randomly went up to him  and started telling me about how the lady at the parlour messed up her hair and make up and how she was really disappointed and how it’s so hard to find someone to do good makeup for you.

At which point her eyes landed on me

Cougar Auntie: ( pointing at me) See! I want make up like HER, and look what that cow did with me

Me: eerr. heh heh… thank you?

Cougar: Yes yes your eye makeup is very nice

Me: ( now feeling a little proud) Thanks!....I did it MYSELF”

Cougar: Oh wow, that’s good, now I want you to come over and do my make up for me for the next wedding event. ( which was 2 days later)

I said there, frozen, blinking, thinking that no, she did just not ask me that, me go over to her house and do her make up? ….I didn’t even know her name!! Talk about creepy

Me: Er… um oh I’d love to but, I-I-I can only do make up for myself, I really can’t do it for someone else, it’s some hand coordination problem that I have…( which is funnily, the truth, I cannot even put eyeliner for someone else without messing it up, but I can manage fine when I do my own makeup- I do not know why this happens)

Anyway, so I got out of that mess.

At this point it was 8:15, and everyone was still rushing around, someone could not find their shoes, someone else could not find the camera, etc etc the usual commotion that takes place in a wedding place, and we were shifted to the drawing room where a bunch of other unwitting relatives, like us, had made the mistake of arriving early.

So, everyone is sitting around making extremely boring small talk and I was furiously typing away notes on my phone in the form of texting Furree Kattt a over-by over commentary on whatever was going on.

 I was typing away on my phone when this little kid ( The grooms 8 year old cousin) comes up to me and starts to inquire what I am doing:

Kid: What are you going? What is that? What are you typing?

Me: I’m writing messages on my phone…

Kid: Why? Why are you doing that? Who are you typing to? Show me show me!!!

Me: No, It’s er….for WORK! I can’t show you

Kid: (making a grumpy face) Everyone always tells me that whenever I want to see what they are typing ( angrily stomps away….thank God).

So at this point it was 8:30 and there was no sign of anyone from the grooms immediate family being ready to leave, even the groom himself was MIA. Turns out he had been at a photo shoot for the past 10 hours or something.

Well finally at 9:45 everyone got ready and bumbled out of the house to sit in their respective cars. ( I kept giving my dad ‘I told you so’ looks, but he just ignored me, haha). We were just getting into our cars I had just sat down when suddenly I turned around and got the shock of my life, the ‘cougar auntie’ was standing near the car door trying to forcibly open it! I was like

Me: Errr… jee?

Cougar: Open the door!

Me: ( I got worried at what was so urgent, but keeping caution, I just rolled down the window instead)

Cougar: Do you have room in yout car for one more person?

Me: (thinking, oh God, she wants to sit with us, well… at least she the ride to the venue will have some entertainment) Oh sure, of course.

Cougar: Great! ( after which she promptly runs off to the car parked in front)

Here I was thinking that this hag has definitely gone mad when she was back dragging a maid by her arm and shoved her into my car next to me

Cougar: oh we have no place in that car, can she sit with you?

Me: oh, sure.

Cougar: Great! ( and then runs off back to her car)

Anyway, so we were all going to the venue, one car following another when I passed by cougar's car and it turns out…. There was PLENTY of place in her car! In fact, she was sitting all alone with the grooms younger brother ( who is about my age)

The poor guy was looking VERY uncomfortable and the cougar was all smiley in a satisfied Cheshire-Cat kind of way….

 

Wow, this is turning out to be one long post, as not to bore you all. I think I’ll split it into two parts and share the details of the rest of the events in a subsequent post.

# 83 - You are flawed and that's what makes you perfect

You make mistakes, so does everyone else, we all do.

No matter how good we want ourselves to be, we all at some point cheat,gossip,back bite, be difficult, act bitchy. Mostly we don't mean to, but sometimes we do. 

We do, and the ones that we love, our family, our friends do so as well, and we still love them all the same.

But those people are very few and far between. I count mine in single digits, but at least they exist.

# 82- Don't run toward, Don't run away. Just stand there

Since I am having another sleepness night, I have decided that I might as well use this time to write a blog post quickly before my laptop battery runs down ( It's currently at 41%).

I have realized something while I was trying to fall asleep for the past 2 hours but not managing to. Quite a few leanings I am getting this month from practicing various things. 

As per my previous posts, I learnt that SILENCE is the best policy when it comes to problems ( which have no solution) that you keep thinking about over and over again. So I stopped talking about my problems to people - well maybe except here on this blog- because it's my 'happy place'- anyway, so I stopped talking about my problems to people, I tried to be more quiet than I usually am, and it helped! I had a sense of calm and it worked for me.

Now my next step, ( what I mean to talk about right now when I say that I have come to a realization). The realization is that:

For a great part of my life  now I have always been running away or running toward something or the other.

Running toward love, running away from love, running away from confrontation, running toward trying to fix problems that don't concern me, running away from people at the right time and running toward those same people at the wrong time.

I mean enough. I have had enough of running 'away' and 'towards'. I am going to try and stop now. I am not going to run away, but I am not going to run toward either. No matter what the issue is. I am just going to stand there and watch me burn.... ok no kidding, haha, I just like that song.

Ok back to the serious topic. New learning for me:

STOP running away  STOP running towards.Just stand where I am and have faith in God.

Hope this helps, I am going to start implementing it from this morning, which should start in about.... 7 hours.

31 battery remaining.

I wonder if there is enough time for me to read a new random Listverse articles before I try to force myself to sleep, or do the self destructive thing and put the laptop on charge so I can keep loitering about here till 5 am.