# 100 - Someday I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday

I've lately been having dreams of escaping this place, of getting away. Not just for a vacation, but permanently shifting out of this place I am in. I am truly beginning to feel that professionally, academically, financially,and personally, there is nothing left for me here anymore. 

I need to make a move. I need to be out of this place, out of this country, and leave everything behind. It is not about wanting to 'run away', it is about 'moving on' with life. Sort of like having a start to a 5-year plan. InshAllah.

I feel uneasy, like the calm before a storm, and I need to remain collected and get out before it is too late. I need to start and act immediately, and I cannot let anyone get in my way. Everything is just going to go downhill from here, and I don't want to be around when it crashes.

# 73- Tomorrow is Monday and today is Sunday

Oh how I am dreading this Monday, this week has been a downward spiral, mentally,emotionally,professionally and a few other 'llys' as well.

And as usual its all my fault for not letting it be. You know what I do? I meddle too much with my own life, and then I regret it.

I say things and then I wish I did not, I do things and then I say oh crap.

Remember the 'protest week'? well I did it for 2 days at work and it helped!  so now, I am going to take it a step further and for the next..umm... 2 months I am going to expand my protest to outside work as well.

I shall have minimum interaction with anyone inside and outside of work until things get sorted out on their own, I will not speak to anyone  unless spoken to first, its not a matter of pride, its like one of those silence oaths those Indian/Buddhist Yogis take for self purification,  that is the only solution to water pollution. haha sorry, lame joke.

But seriously, from today, I am going to truly, leave it up to God. My work life was one step, and it showed improvement, my real life is the next!

This is one place I have that I can talk about my feelings out loud and I am so thankful for that.

Right now I need this to console me:

Drowning my Sorrows